Last Note on New Years

Though I am tired of writing about our New Year's adventures, I do feel one story is worth retelling...

About 1:30 in the morning a extremely excited Pun runs up to me and the following conversation takes place.

Pun: "Dude, you know what would make this night complete?"
Me: "Seeing boobs??"
Pun: (Long pause while he ponders this) "Actually, I was going to say that the night would be complete if I pissed my pants!"
Me: (Becoming extremely excited)"Dude, DO IT!!!
Pun: "OK"

I then stand back and Pun proceed to attempt to pee his pants. You could tell he was very serious about doing this and tried for about 10 seconds before he starts laughing.

Me: "You do it?"
Pun; "I can't!!!! Let me try again."

More attempts before Pun breaks out in complete laughter. Pun never managed to actually pee his pants, but he did make a valiant attempt. Afterwards, considering how the cab ride went, I'm glad it didn't work...

Props to pun though for actually trying to pee his pants, because it's like Adam Sandler says "Peeing your pants in the coolest!!"

Stage 2, yeah, the one you wanna listen to

Disclaimer: There is no disclaimer, I am simply recalling what I remember.

Needless to say, after Friday night's antics, there were some people in rough shape on Saturday morning. A majority of Saturday was spent trying to rally the troops for another night. At 3 o'clock some people were still in pretty sorry shape.

We eventually made our way to the Econo-Lodge where we had found hotel rooms for $40 a night. It doesn't exactly take a rocket scientist to deduct that $40 hotel rooms on New Years are not the most "posh" of establishments. We weren't disappointed. Everyone finally rallied at the hotel and we had our first official head count of the weekend.

It went as follows: McGee, Erin, Marc Lynn, Trey, Julien, Ox, Dixon, Anderson, Pun, Paq, Nuts, Jewell, Cassie, Karen, Watson, Nicole, Viren, Nisha, and Dan Plyler. The group was also suppose to contain Jessica (a girl coming from Alabama, who wrecked her car on her basketball goal at home on New Years Eve and spent New Years stuck in ATL traffic and didn't hit Charlotte until 1 am).

Our group's dress contained 5 sports coats, 4 pink or purple shirts, and 8 stripped shirts. I feel this is an important detail to mention as this clearly means that we "came to get down".

Pimp outfit of the night was a tie. Marc Lynn showed up in Velvet blazer which was a massive hit with his "periwinkle shirt" while Pun jammed out it a classy pair of slacks, a classic pink shirt and a 3/4 length wool jacket.

Least fashionable was Anderson, who showed up in his Blue Blazer with gold buttons. He was least fashionable because he wasn't trying to be funny.

We started the evening with dinner and drinks at Rock Bottom Bar. After a massive cluster fuck of trying to seat 20 people we had dinner and several drinks and headed to Dixie's where we were to spent the rest of the night.

Upon arriving at Dixie's we find a line roughly 200 people long waiting to get in. We then realize that we have pre-ordered tickets and didn't have to stand in line. This deserves a shout out to Trey for organizing, because we never plan ahead, so this was a very big deal. For those of you who haven't been to Charlotte, Dixie's is a bar that is hard to explain. It's not really upscale, but has a fashionable crowd and plays GREAT music.

The night started innocently enough as we bought rounds of beer and established that the place to be was under an outdoor tent near the bar.

20 minutes later things went downhill as Pun discovered that they had free pour Patron tequila for $7 a shot. Pun literally looked like a kid in a candy store. Under his breath, and in his best African voice, he kept whispering "Nigga, that shit is GOOD!!" Pun was a shot ahead of me and insisted that I take a shot with him, so we headed to the bar where 6 of us proceeded to order a Tequila shot. I nearly passed out when I saw the bartender pour literally HALF THE BOTTLE into a shaker and then pour our shots.

45 minutes later Jewell, the Asian sensation, shows up with the reddest face I have ever seen and declares that he is "Officially Fucked Up!!". Jewell spends the rest of the night drinking water and telling everyone how much fun he has with us.

The next two hours are spent singing all the hit songs into our beer bottles. They include Scotty Doesn't Know, Since You've been Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Journey, and Gold Digger.

Real Disclaimer: I have NO idea what songs were actually played. I remember singing and being very excited everytime a new song came on.

We actually missed New Years, since the DJ wasn't exactly on top of a countdown.

(I'm not counting couples on this one). I'm giving Nuts the edge on the New Year's kiss over Paquette this year. As great as a Paq and Cassie makeout is for everyone, Nuts met a random girl at 11:59 and made out with her at the stroke of 12. Nuts was a clear winner though because said random girl showed back up around 1, made out with him again and then just left the bar. Nuts had a classic goofy Nuts smile on his face and if I recall actually broke out the "Nuts happy dance" which hasn't made in appearance in quite some time. For those who don't know Nuts, the happy dance is basically him rocking his hips from front to back like he's humping the air. What makes the Nuts dance special is the way he cocks his head toward the sky and has a stupid grin on his face like "I'm getting laid".

We then ran into the ugliest caveman ever. The picture is enough. He conversation with this girl went something like.

Caveman: Hey, you should make out with me.

Chick: (Nothing said, she just started sucking his face).

Shortly after seeing caveman. Pun cemented his website "Pundances.com" with a classic show of booty shaking and grinding. Unfortunately he ran out of women and I ended up dancing with him to the delight/disgust of the crowd.

The rest of the night was dominated by drinking and singing all the songs we knew, plus most of the ones we did not. Eventually the night ended with us in a big circle singing Piano Man by Billy Joel. It was a fitting end.

Our night then hit a low point as we waited for 45 minutes for a taxi. We eventually managed to grab a cab driver in a Chevy Malibu. We managed to split the taxi with another couple. We then fit random couple, me, erin, Pun, and Nuts....in the backseat!!! Paq and Cassie somehow managed to ride shotgun and we were nearly halfway home before we realized it. Upon arriving at our hotel, which was about 5 minutes from downtown, the cab driver proceed to tell us we owed him $100. Pun, Nuts, and Paq gave them a piece of their mind and we retired for the night.

It was a hell of a New Years. Thanks to everyone.

A Very Happy/Crazy New Year

A happy to everyone. The trip to Charlotte for the weekend was complete success/disaster depending on your outlook. It you look at it from the aspect of hanging out with friends and having a blast, then the weekend was a compete success, but if you are looking at the weekend from a financial aspect then clearly it was a COMPLETE disaster.

A BRIEF recap of the weekend. Erin, Jewell, and I left Greenville Friday morning around 11 to make the trip up to Charlotte/Rock Hill for the weekend. Upon arriving at 1 o'clock the first thing Lynn suggest "Let's have a beer". This was a trend that continued for the next 13 hours. During these 13 hours the following things happened.

1. 13 of us watched in total disbelief as the Gamecocks blew 21 point lead to Missouri. Looking back on the game I realized how happy I was that I HADN'T driven 12 hours to Shreveport, LA to watch us lose our bowl game. Below is a picture taken at any moment during the second half.

2. Post game there was the same feeling in the air as finding out your girlfriend just left you for your best friend. In an attempt to "get the super fans" back on their feet, Dixon suggest a game of Trivia Pursuit Genus 5. I, along with Paq, Lynn, Erin, and Cassie, decide this is a horrible idea seeing as we have just suffered a defeat in football who wants to be humiliated in a game of Trivia Pursuit. We ultimately decide to pair into two teams consisting of "Team Scholar" which was Dixon, Trey, and Joe vs. "Team Remedial" which was everyone else. The following picture shows who won.

If you still don't know, please reference my teammate "Pun". He is the large confused looking gentleman sitting down next to me.

3. The entire group decides we need to go downtown to the busseling metropolis of Rock Hill and check out the bar scene. The following events occurred.

Dixon sells Trey on the idea of placing about 5 tablespoons of mustard in his hand for no apparent reason. Trey, who had drank a majority of his handle of Beam, promptly dropped it all over his shoe.

Paq dropped his pants in the bar

Other things that occurred were yet another Paq and Cassie make out session, Dixon challenging several of the "locals" to hit him in the face, and Karen puking off the back porch of the bar. Everything else is a blur. My next clear memory was walking out of the bar to find Lynn outside waiting for us to get in. The following exchange occurs

Paq: "Lynn, just tell me you are OK to drive".
Lynn: "Nope"

Lynn proceeds to open his passenger door in the middle of main street and hop into another one our cars that was driving home. Paq, Erin, Cassie, Jewell, Karen, and I stare at each other in disbelief and Jewell finally agrees to drive us home. Through some careful navigation, I managed to get Jewell into the neighborhood and this was when things went terribly wrong. I "might" have told Jewell to turn in the wrong entrance and somehow we discovered a dirt road in the middle of the neighborhood, thinking this is a construction cut through, we decide to stay on the road. Nearly 3 minutes later we hit a dead end with a creepy looking house with Christmas lights on. At this point Karen, who had passed out in the backseat, wakes up and is very confused and starts to freak out. I very calmly got in her face and screamed "OH MY GOD, IT'S BLAIR WITCH!!!" This resulted in hysterical crying the remainder of the way home. I went to bed when we got home, but the drunkest man alive this weekend went to one Mr. Dan Dixon and this picture sums it up.

This was Erin's response to seeing the picture.

Please see Sigma Alumni for more antics from the weekend.